6 Upcoming American Horror Movies for 2019 and the continuing downward trend it presents
Regardless what John Q public thinks of the classic movie re-make trend, this hasn’t stopped Hollywood in the least with the 2019 release of the Stephen King classic, Pet Semetary. Going by the trailer, it is pretty much what you’d expect. Incorporation of modern technology, high def cinematography and unknown actors and actresses (at least to this writer). The only thing about this trailer to really remark on is the fact that established actor John Lithgow is playing the part of Jud Crandle. That is, without Jud’s signature New England accent. While I am a fan of Stephen King’s entire body of work, this gave me the same feeling I got watching the Poltergeist redux trailor (and film). Just a boring, watered down, CGI version of a classic. Taking modern liberties with 80’s films such as this doesn’t usually turn out well, as we have seen with A Nightmare On Elm Street, Heathers, Poltergeist, and now Pet Semetary. I think I will pass.
According to IMDb, Isabelle is about “A young couple's dream of starting a family shatters as they descend into the depths of paranoia and must struggle to survive an evil presence that wants nothing more than their very own lives.”
I have seen rumblings about this movie being tied to the Annabelle/Conjuring series, but as bad as this movie looks, you would think that being tied to the franchise would be the only marketable value of Isabelle. The creepy young adult girl that slowly possesses the new neighbors in whatever weird way, add in the opposing priest who has “seen many things”, and you have the tired formula for half, if not most, of every possession movie the world has ever seen since The Excorsist. Watching the trailor, it seemed like I watched the whole movie in 2 minutes. There are at least 50 other choices between Netflix and Hulu alone with the exact same synopsis. No thanks.
According to IMDb, Polaroid is what happens when “high school loner, Bird Fitcher has no idea what dark secrets are tied to the mysterious Polaroid vintage camera she stumbles upon, but it doesn't take long to discover that those who have their picture taken meet a tragic end”.
I have seen Final Destination. I haven’t seen Shutter (due to the similar story line as Polaroid) but I have seen similar reviews of the film. To me, it’s a transparent attempt to capitalize on a marketable vintage scene by making a vintage camera the focal point of a used story line. Absolutely nothing in this trailer sold me.
In watching the trailer for Pledge, I didn’t even know hazing was a thing anymore as far as college is concerned. According to IMDb, “A group of college freshmen pledge an exclusive fraternity but soon realize there's more at stake than they could have ever imagined”.
With every actor looking like a Ken doll, even the Dustin Diamond wannabe, it was painful to sit though 2 minutes of this. Paying to watch over an hour of it seems like a nauseating thought. I remember the movie The Curve with Matthew Lillard, and at least that was somewhat believable. Pledge just seems like another movie with more suspense than actual horror. I think I’ll skip college.
Yet another possession movie. IMDb’s description of the movie is “A couple's holiday romance is thrown into chaos as they are afflicted by a malicious force”. The twist with this possession movie (thanks to the trailer giving away probably the only interesting twist in this movie), is that actress Jenny Boyd is the living half of a Siamese twin and I guess the other, more evil half takes over the character’s body, and things get exotically ritualistic and hedonistic during this getaway.
While the possessed angle is extremely played out, the Siamese aspect does seem interesting. Maybe I will check it out when it makes its way to streaming in a few months after release, but movies like these end up on the back burner for sometimes years until you scroll across it on Netflix. Even with an interesting twist, it’s still B rated as far as the overall package of a movie.
Thanks to movies like Paranormal Investigation and Blair Witch Project, and it’s niche audience, we have movies like Followed. IMDb describes this movie as “To gain more subscribers, a controversial vlogger (who resembles a hipster version of popular YouTuber Markaplier) stays at a cursed hotel to terrifying results”. Looking at the trailer, this movie is going the Blair Witch route in the manner that this movie is a lead up to the vlogger’s disappearance with lots of fighting and arguing along the way.
While the idea of being a YouTube creator used to be appealing to many, the idea seems to be waning off as creators are exploring other avenues because of YouTube’s way of doing things as a company. I guess it’s an okay modern take on an older story line and horror movie style, but it just doesn’t grab me. The main character, actor Matthew Soloman, comes off as obnoxious (in a bad way) down to his bowtie. I think if I actually watched this (on YouTube. Why not?), then by the end I would be rooting to watch this guy get killed and much like Blair Witch, I have a sneaking suspicion we would be cheated of watching him die. So I think I will pass on Followed.
It doesn’t look like 2019 is going to be any easier for American horror movie fans than in recent years. With tired and predictable story telling, bad marketing, and absolutely nothing even stimulating enough to want to watch any of these, it’s safe to say that as a horror movie fan we need something real again. Not any Rob Zombie remakes or classic redux that everyone is going to complain about, but something REAL. Ash vs. Evil Dead was the perfect modern horror series. Movies with true horror spirit that doesn’t act like the poser in the mosh pit asking to get thrown down. If these movies are the BEST that Hollywood has to offer, as the video claims, then I will stick to my classics.